The Other Part-Time Job

Song of the day: Stronger Than Me by Amy Winehouse

Image by me :) - Walking home in the early hours of the morning
and got to see this beautiful view.

Well that was an interesting start. I guess the first blog post should've been a little bit more about me but it was something I really needed to get off my chest. Now that it's done I can go on with what this blog is meant to be about. I'm a twenty-something year old girl living in London. I do promo work for a living while trying to make it as a writer.
     What is promo work you ask? You see those people handing out flyers and free samples or those girls and guys working as hostesses or asking you for your details to sign up for a new app? Or people working at big events like festivals? I am one of those people. If you see a promo person, most likely they are actors, musical theatre performers, singers, artists, photographers, dancers, models, tightrope walkers (yes you read right), graphic designers and writers like me.


There are several rules to promo: -


 Rule Number One: Don't Be Afraid
You have to have the ability to talk to complete strangers on the street.

Rule Number Two: You Can't Be Shy
You have to be bubbly and smiley all the time. Basically be friendly. NO MATTER HOW BAD YOUR DAY IS.

Rule Number Three: Rejection
You will deal with a lot of rejection. People will pretend you don't even exist. You have to deal with scrunched up dirty looks from people who sometimes look at you as if you're the scum of the earth. It hurts when you first do promo but after awhile you become numb to it. Then soon enough you begin to feel sorry for those people because really you're a fucking awesome person who could one day get their big break and be famous. Plus they're missing out on the great promotional deals that you're promoting like happy hour. I mean do people not understand how expensive alcohol can be in London? So really it's their loss.

Rule Number Four: Remember That This Is Not Forever
Promo work is to help pay the bills and rent, this is not an actual career. You actually have a dream job and you are working towards it.

Rule Number Five: Black Is The New Black
Your wardrobe will be dominated by black, black and oh yes more black. That's the standard promo uniform unless stated otherwise. You will make quick little trips to Primark because those leggings you always wear? Now worn out with holes. Those black tights? Yes they're ripped. Of course it depends what company you work for. They're normally quite relaxed so sometimes you can get away with your fabulous, glamorous and colourful self.

I work for a few agencies around London in order to scrape a living. Of course it has it's downside. It's not a stable way to live unless you get regular work. Sometimes you feel like you're not getting anywhere with your other job like not making it through that audition. Men consistently coming up with cheesy one-liners and harassing us for our numbers. We have to take up several shifts in one day which means standing all day and not being able to sit down for ages. Sometimes we get mistaken as strippers or prostitutes. I mean hello I am holding flyers here. But at the end of the day you realise that you've just had a terrible day and you continue with your life. But you know something? I secretly love it. Why? Mostly because its the people I work with. They are the ones that make this crazy line of work tolerable and keep me sane. I have met some of the most unique and talented characters and beautiful friendships have blossomed. It's always a great way to network because everyone helps each other out and sometimes hilarity just ensues.

That's the overall view and I hope you continue to watch this space,

Peace Out,
xxx

The Confession

Song of the day: Water Me by FKA Twigs

I have neglected this blog for a very long time. Emphasis on the word very. It's been nearly two years since I attempted to start up my blog and wow have I changed as a person between then and now. I was lost for awhile. I almost fell in love again. It was a fun, sweet, simple and short period and I know for a fact that I was happy. It was a different kind of love. It was something I never experienced before. He was the first guy I managed to connect with after my long-term relationship of nearly five years ended. I was thinking about him recently and I swore to myself that if I ever saw him again I would tell him one thing, "Thank you". What a strange and wonderful thing to say to someone who semi-broke your heart. He did a lot for me, more than I realised. He helped me heal the scars that were left from my last relationship. He did it without knowing it.
      Right now I am sitting in my bedroom with a cup of half drunken green tea, contemplating how to put my feelings into words while FKA Twigs 'Water Me' blasts in the background. Not just any words but the right words. I guess you can call this an open almost love letter to the man who helped mend me. He was smart, funny, charming, kind and beautiful inside and out. He remembered how I liked to have my tea, black with two sugars. He brought me toast in bed when I suffering a huge hangover in his bed even though it was the second time we met. He brought me a small gift when he went to Portugal when we only met three times beforehand. He waited for me while I was away on a near two-month holiday in Malaysia. He would hold my hand when we were out with his friends. He would check to make sure I was okay because I think he felt I was a bit nervous. I remember thinking, 'This guy must really like me'. He told me I was beautiful, smart, funny and interesting. I was taken aback because I wasn't used to this form of affection (yes I have my reasons). Of course he had his flaws, he was crap at texting but then so was I. He made more time for his friends than he did for me, which was something he apologised for in the end. He never once came to my house, I had to go to his. You know what? I accepted them all.
     I was never looking for anything. I never asked him for anything. I wasn't ready for anything. I was just grateful to have him in my life for that brief fleeting moment. He was exactly what I needed and I think deep down I was someone he needed. It was summer and it was the first time I felt free and happy after being a miserable mess for months about my last relationship. I was merrily drunk with a friend and we walked into this dark and dingy bar/club in Central London. Then we met. We ended up talking. We both came out of long-term relationships, we both had degrees in creative writing and other similar interests. It was an instant connection. I don't think we thought of each other as rebounds because it lasted longer than we meant to. I think we were each other's distraction, a good one though. I believe that everything happens for a reason and having him in my life during a time when I was still hurting was probably fate. We couldn't believe we only just found each other.
     I was a broken person when we met and he helped rebuild a part of me that I thought was gone years ago. Sadly he never knew how broken and shattered I was. No one really knew because it was hard enough for me to admit it myself let alone others. I couldn't let those walls crumble down yet. A part of me regrets it. I wish I told him about how my last relationship really affected me. That it was destructive and painful. When I look back he also never mentioned much about his previous relationship, even though I knew he was hurting. I think we wanted to focus on the fun part so we pushed every horrible emotion away. We wanted to feel alive again. Most importantly we wanted to feel happy. We talked, we laughed, we danced, we drank, we fucked and it was great. I wouldn't take any of it back.
     Of course I was sad when it ended. I cried for three whole days. But it was a mutual thing. I knew this temporary game we were playing was ending. That chapter of my life ended. It had to. Looking back on that relationship we clung onto each other because we were like the other's pill, in our high we temporarily fixed each other. Deep down I knew we both weren't ready for something more than what we were. I had some shit I needed sorting out and I still do to this day and he wasn't ready more than he liked to admit. So there we were, two people who had an amazing time and reality had to crack into their world. In the end he told me I deserved someone who could give me more of their time, he told me that I was amazing and that he was sorry. He said more but I won't dive into that, I felt the same way as he did.
      So I want to say a huge big thank you even though he would probably never know this. He made me feel that I was worth it. He made me feel that I do in fact deserve someone who is worthy, during a time when I didn't think I mattered much. It was like the universe smacked me in the face to tell me, "See, someone thought you're great and don't let anyone tell you otherwise again you complete twat". Even though we weren't in love. Had we continued maybe it could've been love. Infatuated yes but not love, he helped me open up to the possibility that one day I could fall in love again. So once more, thank you.

Peace Out,
xxx